body image.
I have always suffered with this. I wore insecurities like a pair of shoes, something I can't leave the house without. Starting at a young age, I was aware of the extra inches I had compared to my friends. Whether it was small comments about the new shirt being too snug, or the boy behind me in religion class saying, "At least you're not as fat as this girl," while pointing to a young girl in the textbook (classy, I know) my body always seemed to be this gross home I'd be stuck in the rest of my life.
I don't believe we are made to hate the body God gave us. It's not instinct or our nature that plants hatred in our minds, it's society. So, I want to change that negative view of society.
When I first saw that above picture of myself, I immediately pointed out my arms.
"EW, why do they have to look so big?"
"I've been working out for weeks, and that barely looks like muscle."
"Why can't I have an arm gap?" <- this was a serious question I asked myself... Who am I?! People don't really think this, do they?
I used to come home from middle school, look in the mirror, and ask myself if I'd ever be like the pretty girls as a tear rolled down my cheek. It wasn't outward appearance that made that insecure child eventually realize her beauty, it was Christ. Now don't get me wrong, seeing your beauty in Christ does not mean it's an easy road from here. There are still days that I'll change my outfit 17 times before walking out the door because my hips don't want to cooperate or my arms look equivalent to a mama bear's... but these little comments easing their way into my mind are simply the Devil telling me I'm not good enough. Little does that sucker know that through my Lord, I am enough.
Body image is a great reason I felt the desire to start a blog. To be open and real in the world of social media, so that women of all ages know they're not alone. And that you're beautiful. We all are. We are made in God's image and likeness and if that is not enough to make your heart skip a beat, I'm not sure what is. I am blessed with the gift of openness. God gave me this beautiful gift to share with others, and not be afraid to do so. I hope that through this blog, you may find love and acceptance. You will find a friend in me, a sister in Christ.
xoxo mal :)